Have you ever found yourself staring at the bedroom ceiling, counting how many hours are left before your alarm goes off, and thinking, “I have to sleep right now”? And somehow, the moment you do, you seem to become even more awake.

When we can’t sleep, our first instinct is often to try harder. We bring the same problem-solving mindset that helps us during the day into our beds at night. But sleep works differently. One of the things that can keep us awake is the effort of trying to make sleep happen.

3 Ways We Make Sleep More Difficult

An Active Mind on a Resting Body

Your body may be in bed, but the mind is still working. You replay conversations from earlier in the day, think about tomorrow’s tasks, or try to solve unfinished problems.

Trying Too Hard to Sleep

When sleep doesn’t come, many of us try harder. We check the clock, force ourselves to relax, and keep asking, “Am I asleep yet?” The more we check, the more awake we often become.

The Stress About Not Sleeping

The main problem is often not sleep itself, but the worry that comes with being awake. Thoughts such as, “If I don’t sleep now, tomorrow will be a disaster,” or “Why can’t I sleep like everyone else?” add another layer of stress and make it even harder to rest.

So, Let Go of the Struggle and Return to the Breath. Instead of trying to force sleep to happen, try letting go of the need to control the night. A simple mindfulness practice can help bring your attention back to the present moment. On nights when sleep feels out of reach, set aside the expectation that you must fall asleep and gently return to the breath.

Begin with using B2 code — a deep inhale followed by a long, slow exhale. This can help signal to your nervous system that it is safe to settle.

When you feel ready, move your attention naturally to B3 Code — the natural breath. Allow the breath to move on its own, without trying to control or change it. Instead of trying to fall asleep, spend a few moments resting with the breath.

‍What Happens When We Return to the Code?

When we are with B2 or B3 instead of getting caught up in our thoughts, a few things often begin to change.

We stop checking for sleep.

Instead of asking, “Am I asleep yet?” we return to the breath. Sleep may come, or it may not, but for a moment, we are no longer chasing it.

We give the mind less to fight with.

Wakefulness, restlessness, and worries about tomorrow may still be there. Rather than trying to get rid of them, we simply notice them and return to the breath.

We become less self-critical.

A sleepless night can easily turn into a story about failure. Returning to the breath helps us step out of that story and reconnect with what is actually happening.

We begin again.

The mind wanders. We notice it. We come back to the breath. Then it wanders again, and we come back again. This simple act of returning is part of the practice.

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A Gentle Bedtime Practice (Try This Tonight)

1. Find a comfortable position, either sitting up or lying down.

2. Spend a few minutes arriving in your body with Code B2 - the deep inhale and long exhale breath, letting the long exhales carry away the residual tension of the day.

3. When you feel a sense of release, transition to Code B3 - the natural breath, dropping all effort and letting the breath move naturally.

4. If a thought, worry, or judgment arises, simply note its presence without following it down the rabbit hole.

5. Softly guide your awareness back to the breath.

6. Repeat this loop as many times as needed.

Remind yourself: Tonight, there is nothing you need to achieve. Nothing to force. Nothing to fix. Simply return.

Tonight, if sleep feels out of reach, try letting go of the need to make it happen.

Be with B2. Be with B3. Then let the night take care of the rest.

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